


On This Day, As Ever

by Scribe



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-28
Updated: 2009-12-28
Packaged: 2017-10-05 09:55:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/40408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scribe/pseuds/Scribe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Four important days Dom doesn't mark on his calendar, and one he does. (Written for monaboyd month '09)</p>
            </blockquote>





	On This Day, As Ever

**#1**

It wasn't love at first sight.

It wasn't even lust at first sight, except in that sort of general way that had Dom clinging white-knuckled to his own self confidence and wondering if they were meant to be making Lord of the Rings: the Porno because everyone he was introduced to was ridiculously gorgeous. Billy was attractive, yes, but he wasn't lose-your-breath beautiful the way some of the others were. As it turned out, Orlando was the first one Dom slept with, but Billy was the first one he told. It might be possible to construe that as meaning something.

In any event, their first meeting was fairly unremarkable. It was short, Dom leaving as Billy arrived, friendly, enthusiastic, a little nervous. Pretty much what you'd expect. They made conversation for a minute or two, established that the entire assembled cast and crew were going out for drinks that night in a mass getting-to-know-you gesture and that they'd see each other there.

There was something, though. Not love at first sight, but something, a feeling, an intuition, that made Dom pause and turn and say as casually as possible,

"Actually, would you wanna grab something to eat before the pub? If you don't have plans, you know."

 

They fell into easy conversation over dinner, speculation about the project, building on each other's enthusiasm. There is a rush that comes with riffing off Billy. It reminds him of going headfirst on the toboggan when his parents weren't looking, all momentum and wild laughter. Eating dinner on the day they met he got the first glimpse of that feeling, liked it without knowing that soon enough he would live for it.

"I can't even imagine the kind of pranks you could pull on a shoot this long," he said, testing the waters.

"We'll have to get started soon to get a jump on the rest of them," agreed Billy. There was a twinkle in his eyes and half a smile pulling at one corner of his mouth.

"There is the pub tonight-"

"It would be good of us to let them know what they're getting themselves into, don't you think?"

"Only fair, really. Give them a chance to get out early if they can't handle it."

 

It was the sort of thing that never would have worked in normal circumstances, but that early on no one wanted to make an enemy by calling foul on a story that turned out to be true. At least, that's what they were counting on.

Dom, as the new guy, came in second. He greeted those people he'd met and shook hands with those he hadn't, all pleasant and charming until Billy turned to look at him. He froze. They locked eyes and he caught the ghost of that twinkle in Billy's for just a second before it was gone, replaced by discomfort and disbelief.

"Alan?" Said Dom, even managing to get a bit squeaky. Billy coughed and scooted his chair back so he could walk around the table to Dom.

"It's, um, Billy, actually. Billy Boyd." He offered his hand. Dom ignored it.

"You gave me a fake name?" He hissed, just loud enough for enquiring ears to overhear.

"You gave me your real one?"

"Well, excuse me if I didn't know I was just some random bit of sport."

"You were on holiday with your parents! What exactly did you think was going on?"

"I guess I thought you cared! At least enough to give me your real name. I spent months looking for you, did you know that, _Billy_? I drove myself crazy."

"And if you found me? What then? You were eighteen, Dom, and we lived hours apart. You just mistook a good weekend for something more, that's all."

"It wasn't just a good weekend, you bastard. You were my first."

Billy paused, long enough for drama but not quite long enough for someone to interrupt. Dom spared a thought to admire his timing. Then he rallied and they were off again.

"But you said-"

"I know what I said. So we both lied-"

"That's not hypocritical of you at all-"

"Well, what would you have me do? You wouldn't have looked twice if I'd told you the truth."

"Wouldn't have- Dom. Of course I would have. You're- you were-" He lowered his voice, though there was no way any of this was private by now. "You're beautiful."

"Yeah, so you said. You didn't bother saying goodbye, though, so I'm not sure I'm gonna fall for that one."

"It's not a line. It's- look, can we just put this behind us? We're going to have to work together-"

"Like hell we can put it behind us! I _loved_ you!" Dom was nearly yelling now. He grabbed Billy's shoulders, their agreed upon signal. Hopefully everyone would be wondering if he was going to shove Billy away or kiss him. He was sort of wondering himself.

They held the position as a few seconds dragged by in complete silence. Then they broke away, back to their smiling normal selves.

"Next round's on me," he said. Billy dropped back into his chair. As Dom made his way toward the bar he heard Billy saying,

"So Elijah, I hear they didn't want an American Frodo until you came along. I'd congratulate you, but then again you did just put my country to shame."

Dom turned to watch the aftermath from across the room. Elijah was actually gaping, openmouthed.

"You and Dom..." started Orlando, and then trailed off.

"Oh, we only just met a couple hours ago."

For a few beautiful seconds, everyone just stared. Elijah broke the silence, somewhere between awe and excitement, with a grin and a hand slammed on the table

"Oh, it is so _on_."

Billy caught Dom's eye and threw him a salute as the table erupted into chaos, and in that exact moment Dom thought for the first time, _this movie might be the best thing that will ever happen to me_.

 

**#2**

"Morning," said Billy, turning from where he was looking out of Dom's kitchen window. He was dressed, had a mug of tea, appeared to be awake and beginning the day.

"Morning," mumbled Dom. "Why're you up so early?"

"June sixteenth. It's the day my mother died." He took a sip of the tea and set it down, crossing his arms. "Not that that's a reason to be up early. It's not like there's anything to do."

Dom reached around him to turn the kettle back on. "What do you usually do?"

"Go to Maggie's, or have her come to mine. I'll call her later. It's still yesterday for her now, I think."

"I'll never get used to that," Dom said. He wasn't as uncomfortable as he'd thought he might be, having this conversation-- just sad, sad that Billy was sad and for the way the world worked.

"We go to the ocean sometimes," Billy continued, turning back to the window. "A place she used to take us as kids. It's strange not to be there this year, though I suppose it doesn't really matter. She can't talk to me any more there than she can anywhere else."

No, but you can talk to her there, Dom thought and didn't say. Not his place.

"We can probably manage the ocean," he said instead.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Bill, I know this may be a hard concept for you, given that you've only had thirty-odd years to get used to it, but- brace yourself, it's a big one- we are, in fact, living on an island."

Billy swatted at him, but at least he smiled.

 

"It's not a big deal, you know," Billy said as they drove. "It happened years and years ago. By now it's just another day, really."

"Is it?" Dom asked. He let too much skepticism into his tone, was sorry for that, but Billy didn't seem offended.

"In many ways," was all he said, and then turned to look out the window and was quiet.

 

It was easy enough to find a beach. Billy walked down to the shoreline and stood for a long time, hands in his pockets, before wandering back to where Dom was drawing idle figures in the sand. He looked tired.

"Promise me something," he said, sitting down. "Don't give up when I die. Keep living your life, no matter how hard it seems."

Dom could have said something about presumption, but he didn't because it wasn't presumption, really, just a truth both of them knew spoken aloud for the first time. He wasn't sure how to respond. Thinking of filming _Return of the King_ away from Billy made him sick to his stomach; he couldn't imagine living without the knowledge that Billy was there, somewhere, in the world.

"Promise," Billy insisted, looking out to sea.

He promised, didn't know if he could keep it, dreaded ever finding out.

 

Dom called his own mother that evening. It had been nearly a week and he was grateful for her, guilty for taking her for granted. They talked for almost an hour. He considered asking for advice about whether he might be mistaking his first love for his last love, but decided against it because he wasn't actually a girl and also because he already knew the answer.

After ringing off he drove to Orlando's; it was frightening to be twenty-two and to know.

 

**#3**

It was the day before their anniversary, although of course he didn't know that at the time.

The week had been mind-numbingly exhausting. When they'd stumbled out of Feet the night before cooking had been out of the question; it was about all he could do to stuff a grouchy Billy and some takeaway into the car and get them all back to his house without falling asleep at the wheel. They ate in tired silence in front of the telly, some program that Dom could barely remember in the morning. When he came back from clearing up the leftovers Billy was snoring on his sofa.

"Bill," he whispered, and then, louder, "Billy."

"Mm? Sorry, 'm going," Billy mumbled without opening his eyes. Dom poked him in the shoulder.

"You're in no state to drive. Just lie down properly or you'll kill your neck."

"Mmkay."

The trip down the hallway to find a spare blanket felt like a heroic effort. When he returned Billy hadn't moved an inch.

"Bill. Come on."

Dom couldn't even make out the words in the response this time. As a last resort he grabbed one of Billy's arms and tugged until he folded down into a slightly more horizontal position. Good enough, he decided, and stumbled off to bed.

The doorbell woke him eleven hours later on the day before the day that would be their anniversary. He heard the door open before he'd gathered the willpower to roll out of bed, which either meant that Billy was awake or that it was one of the fellowship. Or both, as it turned out.

"Hey, Bill," said Elijah, sounding rather too chipper for Dom's taste. He wasn't really tired anymore, but he still preferred to drowse himself slowly into wakefulness if he had the chance.

"We stopped by your house," Elijah continued, "but we didn't see your car so we figured you just crashed here last night. I let myself in and grabbed your stuff, hope you don't mind."

"No, that's great, thanks. Sean outside?"

"Yeah, I said I'd get him if you guys were going to be a while. Where's Dom, anyway?"

"Still sleeping, I think."

"I'm up!" Dom called, suiting action to word. He'd completely forgotten that they were going surfing today. He considered showering, but decided it wasn't worth cleaning up just so he could go get all full of beach. They could deal with him the way he'd rolled out of bed for half an hour.

"Morning, guys," he said, smothering a yawn as he wandered into the room. "Sleep well, Bill?" And that was when he first noticed that Billy was acting strangely.

It wasn't anything obvious or easy to define, but there was something different about Billy. No one else seemed to notice, but it made Dom curious, made him think twice and look twice at things he would normally take in stride. It went on all day. He couldn't figure out what it meant until they were dropped back at his house, Billy wanting to grab a shower before heading home so he didn't get sand all over his car.

Dom closed the door and turned to offer Billy first crack at the bathroom, only to find himself subject of that strange look he'd been catching all day.

"You and Orlando," said Billy, a leading question.

Every muscle of Dom's body went tense in a rush. It was hard to form words around the sudden presence of months of anticipation, of inevitability, with the knowledge of what was about to happen.

"We're not exclusive," he said, barely managing the words, and then Billy was crowding close and drawing him into a kiss. It made him think of the scene they'd staged hours after they met, the way that this day had been foreseen in that one. Billy pulled away to tug at Dom's ear with his teeth, making him shiver so hard that it sent an ache straight to the base of his spine.

"Fuck, Billy, come _on_," he said, closer to a whine than he would have liked to admit.

"Impatient," chuckled Billy into Dom's neck, making him shiver again, but given that five seconds later he had his hand down Dom's pants he didn't really have much of a case.

 

"Remind me why we didn't do this sooner?" Dom asked once he got his breath back. They were lying in a tangle on the floor of the front room, which was kind of embarrassing but also kind of fantastic. He didn't want to stop touching Billy, ever.

"Because then you would have missed out on the experience of sleeping with Orlando?" Billy suggested. Dom tried to elbow him, but Billy blocked his arm and pulled him into a kiss instead. The kiss went on rather a long time.

"Dom, I-" said Billy when they pulled apart, then fended off another kiss attempt. "No, listen. This is serious. Will-"

"Wait," Dom said. "Ask me that tomorrow. Will you ask me tomorrow?"

Billy, who knew him well enough to understand what this was about, promised that he would.

It wasn't that he and Orlando were in a relationship, per se. They had fallen into bed together early on because they were both young and far from home and interested and because, well, who in their right would say no to casual sex with Orlando? It had never been anything more binding than that. Still, there was a way that Dom needed his relationship with Billy to work and a way he needed it to start, and he had to talk to Orlando first.

As it turned out, he wouldn't actually have to say anything at all. The next day, the day that would be their anniversary, he would tell Orlando they needed to talk and Orlando would take one look at him and cry,

"You slept with Billy, didn't you? Finally!" and their arrangement would come to an end. Orlando would demand to be a bridesmaid and go off snickering and Dom would find Billy outside the makeup trailer and Billy would ask a certain question and Dom would say yes, yes, of course I will. Of course I am.

But that was the next day.

Right then, lying on his living room floor with Billy's salt-stiff hair under his fingers and sand in a variety of unmentionable places, Dom just grinned and said,

"You know, there are very strict rules about the use of the shower in this house. You're probably going to need supervision."

 

**#4**

The days after Billy left were always the worst. Having him there was a little like being in Oz after spending your life in Kansas- suddenly there was color everywhere and you realized what you'd been missing. That wasn't to say that Dom didn't enjoy life in black and white wholeheartedly, but it was easier in the periods between when he forgot what color was like altogether. The days after Billy left, with the memory of him still strong and the rest of life pale and boring in comparison, were the worst. Dom dreaded them.

Billy wasn't there when he woke up, which wasn't entirely unusual for a normal day but was strange for the morning before they parted. He glanced at the clock. There was still an hour before they had to leave for the airport. It made his stomach flutter unhappily, echoes of the dread of leaving New Zealand.

He pulled on some clothes and went to scout out the rest of the house. It didn't take long. Billy was sitting on his suitcase in the front hallway (too short a visit to merit much luggage this time, time stolen between rehearsal schedules, and didn't Dom hate that). He looked tired. Butter over too much bread, Dom thought, because he'd never gotten his head entirely out of Lord of the Rings and didn't think he ever would. It was at odds with Billy's usual leave-taking game face and it made Dom's heart ache.

"Bill," he said quietly. Billy looked up, down again, sighed.

"I don't want to do this anymore," he said.

There was no possible response to that but to pull Billy into a hug, to offer what comfort he could in the face of the ocean that separated them for most of the year.

Except, maybe there was a response.

It had to do with a lot of things. It had to do with careers and opportunities and families and schedules and money, but mostly it had to do with the fact that he didn't think he could bear to let Billy out of his arms. Dom took a deep breath. It came easily, despite the tightness in his chest.

"Okay," he said. "Okay, then. Take me home with you."

 

**#5**

One of the things Dom has always enjoyed about New Year's is hanging the new calendar. It's a small thing, but he genuinely likes the chance to look back on the old year and think ahead to the new.

There's a reason he doesn't often tell people about this. It sounds sappier than most of the shit they tease Orlando for starring in.

"You coming, Dom?" Billy calls from downstairs. "We have a party to get to."

"Yeah, just a minute," he calls back. He flips through the blank, perfect new calendar until he gets to June. _To New Zealand_ is the first thing he writes, scribbling it in the box for the 1st and drawing a sloppy extended arrow through the next three weeks. Then back to May, where he writes down _parents arrive_ on the weekend of the 23rd. And then he hesitates.

"Alright, I give up. What's taking you so long?" asks Billy from the doorway. He comes over to peer at the calendar.

"I can't figure out the right thing to write," Dom admits. Billy huffs out a laugh, takes the pen from him, and draws a circle around May 31st.

"Did you have any other last-minute planning to worry about, or can we go?" he asks, belying any irritation in the words by squeezing Dom's hand and dropping a kiss on the top of his head.

"No, I think that's it."

They're almost out the door before he stops again.

"Actually, since you mentioned last-minute planning..."

"I'm already dreading whatever you're going to say."

"I've only just remembered- Orlando wants to be a bridesmaid. Told me so himself."

Billy stares at him for a moment, and then slowly begins to smile.

"Well, then. We wouldn't want to deny a dear friend a desire like that, would we?"

"Certainly not."

And they walk out into the night, plotting all the way.


End file.
